CATHOLIC WEDDING ANSWER BOOK, THE ML Answers the 101 Most-Asked Questions series Paul Turner Paper, $19.95 160 pages, 5½" × 8½" ISBN 0-89390-517-8 View Table of Contents Quantity:

The latest entry in a popular question-and-answer series, The Catholic Wedding Answer Book answers 101 questions from the basic to the historical and from the practical to the theological. Clergy can use this authoritative work to answer questions from engaged couples, to search for solutions to pastoral dilemmas and to help determine sensible wedding guidelines for the parish. Because this book answers so many frequently asked questions, the engaged couple will want this book for themselves — and parishes may want to provide each couple with a copy well in advance of their wedding. RCIA team leaders, who routinely work with couples about to join this church, will want this valuable reference work as well. A sample of questions asked and answered include the following.

• Can I be married outdoors or does the ceremony have to be inside a church?
• We’re living together. Can we still be married in the Catholic Church?
• I don’t like my pastor. Can I be married somewhere else?
• Can we incorporate our Hispanic traditions in the wedding?
• Can we write our own vows?
• Are there restrictions on decorations?
• Can we use a unity candle?
• Can communion ever be shared with those who aren’t Catholic?
• Does the Scripture reader have to be Catholic?

 

 

There are four titles in the ML Answers series:
ML Answers the 101 Most-Asked Questions About Liturgy;
The Liturgical Music Answer Book;
The Catechumenate Answer Book;
The Catholic Wedding Answer Book.
You can order sets of all four of the titles in this series at the special set price of $64, by clicking on the button below.

 “How do couples steer their way through the many alternatives that confront them when planning their wedding? This excellent little book answers a whole host of frequently asked questions about Catholic weddings with incisive clarity, warmth and wit. Anyone who is planning a wedding, or helping couples and their families to prepare for marriage, should read this book.”
— Rita Ferrone, director of liturgy at the Cathedral of St. John the Evangelist, Milwaukee

About the Author

 Paul Turner, pastor of St. John Regis Parish in Kansas City, Mo., holds a doctorate in sacramental theology from Sant’ Anselmo University in Rome. He is a regular columnist for Ministry & Liturgy magazine and author of two previous books: The Catechumenate Answer Book and ML Bulletin Inserts..

Other books in the ML Answers Series:
ML Answers the 101 Most Asked Questions about Liturgy
The Liturgical Music Answer Book
The Lent, Triduum, Easter Answer Book
The Catechumenate Answer Book

Table of Contents

 Introduction

 Groundwork Questions

 1. May I be married outdoors or does a Catholic wedding have to be in a Catholic church?

 2. May we have our wedding in a chapel or a home? I thought Mass could be celebrated anywhere.

 3. If the bishop doesn’t allow weddings outside the church building and the priest does it anyway, will it still count?

 4. We’re living together. May we still be married in the Catholic Church?

 5. I’m pregnant. May I have a Catholic wedding?

 6. My fianc# was married before. May we be married in the Catholic Church?

 7. Wait a minute. Even if my divorced fianc# is not a Catholic, married someone who was not a Catholic, and had the wedding completely apart from the Catholic Church, this person still needs an annulment in the Catholic Church?

 8. Then what does an annulment do?

 9. I am a divorced Catholic, now engaged. My first marriage was not in a church. Do I need an annulment to marry in the Catholic Church?

 10. If we don’t want to have an annulment because it’s too much work or too much money, or we don’t agree with what an annulment means, may we just get the marriage blessed in a Catholic Church in a ceremony without Mass?

 11. May the Catholic Church give me a quick marriage without a ceremony? I just want to make the relationship legal before I go into the service.

 12. I’m a Catholic. Does my fianc# have to become a Catholic to be married in the church?

 13. My partner has never been baptized. May we still get married?

 14. We’re not Catholic, but the person I’m marrying is preparing to become one. May we get married in the Catholic Church?

 15. We want our marriage to last forever but we are signing a legal agreement concerning our property just in case it doesn’t. Will this be a problem?

 16. My partner is under 18. Do parents have to consent to this marriage?

 17. My homosexual partner and I want our union to last forever. May we have a ceremony in the Catholic Church?

 18. Do we have to agree to raise our kids Catholic before we may get married? Even though I’m Catholic, I’d like the children raised in my partner’s faith.

 19. My fianc# and I don’t want kids. Is that going to be a problem?

 20. We are too old to have children. May we still get married in the church?

 21. I don’t like my parish church. May I get married at some other one?

 22. I don’t like my pastor. May someone else do the wedding?

 23. Did you say a deacon could perform the ceremony?

 24. I’m Catholic, but I don’t belong to a Catholic parish. How can I get married in the Catholic Church?

 25. My fianc# is not a Catholic. May we be married at his or her church?

 26. I’m Catholic, but I don’t go to church. May we still have a Catholic wedding?

 27. I’m Catholic, but I haven’t been confirmed yet. May I still get married?

 28. I’m Catholic, but I never had my first communion. May I still get married?

 29. My spouse and I weren’t married in a Catholic church but we realize now that we should have. What do we do?

 30. Can two marriages happen at the same ceremony? We have two engagements in the family.

 31. We’re planning to elope. How do I get the Catholic Church to bless our wedding next month?

 Preparing the Ceremony

 32. Is there a waiting period to get married? I’ve heard you have to wait six months.

 33. How come we have to go to classes before we can get married, what are they all about, and how long do they last?

 34. Do the classes include religious instruction for a partner who is not Catholic?

 35. If my partner refuses to attend the classes or skip some of them, may we still get married in the church?

 36. My fianc# and I live in two different cities. How can we possibly take classes together?

 37. Why do Catholics get married at Mass? It takes so long.

 38. We just want a simple ceremony. Maybe just the vows. Or the wedding and communion. Is that possible with the Catholic Church or do we have to have Mass?

 39. If a Catholic marries someone from another faith, are they forbidden to have Mass with the ceremony?

 40. Is the wedding still a sacrament if there is no Mass?

 41. Will my Saturday wedding count for Sunday Mass?

 42. May I get married on some other day of the week?

 43. May we get married during Lent?

 44. May we have two ceremonies—one Catholic and the other not? I’ve heard they do this in other countries, but that in the United States a Catholic who has a civil ceremony may not get married in the church.

 45. We’re getting married outside the United States. Is the Catholic wedding ceremony different in other countries?

 46. I’m supposed to plan my wedding ceremony and I don’t have a clue. What are the contents of a Catholic wedding?

 47. What Bible readings are good for a wedding?

 48. May we include some readings that are not from the Bible?

 49. What should go into the program?

 50. Are there restrictions on decorations?

 51. Does it matter how we dress?

 52. What music is appropriate at weddings?

 53. What rules are there about photography?

 54. My partner is not Catholic. May a minister from that church and my priest co-officiate the wedding?

 55. I have lots of family and friends I want to involve in the wedding. What can they do?

 56. Children are already involved in our relationship. May they have a role in the wedding?

 57. What roles could my partner and I play? May we be communion ministers at the wedding?

 58. Do the best man and maid of honor have to be Catholic?

 59. The best man and maid of honor are the traditional witnesses, but we want to have two witnesses of the same sex. Is this allowed?

 60. Does the Scripture reader have to be Catholic?

 61. What will happen at the wedding rehearsal?

 62. What paperwork has to be completed before the wedding?

 63. What are the banns of marriage?

 64. Should I go to confessions before I get married?

 The Ceremony

 65. How is the procession supposed to go?

 66. Will the priest be asking, “Who gives this woman to this man”?

 67. Will the priest allow everyone with objections to the wedding to “speak now or forever hold your peace?”

 68. May “Here Comes the Bride” play when we walk down the aisle?

 69. My father has died and my mother has remarried. Who walks me down the aisle?

 70. Can my father and stepfather walk me down the aisle?

 71. Should everyone stand when the bride starts down the aisle?

 72. May we light a candle in memory of a deceased parent?

 73. Will we have to kneel? My fianc# isn’t a Catholic and feels awkward about this.

74. My partner is agnostic and doesn’t want to say anything insincere during the ceremony. Will that be a problem?

 75. May we use the King James Version of the Bible for the readings?

 76. Will people see and hear us when we give our consent?

 77. Can we write our own vows?

 78. Do the vows have to include “love, honor, obey”?

 79. May we memorize the words of our consent?

 80. May we incorporate our Hispanic traditions in the wedding?

 81. Is the African tradition of jumping the broom permitted at a Catholic wedding?

 82. Do we have to have rings?

 83. When do we kiss?

 84. May we use a unity candle?

 85. What is the nuptial blessing?

 86. Why is the bride supposed to bring flowers to the statue of Mary?

 87. May we have communion under both forms at the wedding Mass?

 88. May communion ever be shared with those who aren’t Catholics at a Catholic wedding?

 89. What if people who aren’t Catholic go up to receive communion anyway?

 90. If we had the wedding at another church, everyone could go to communion, but the Catholic Church would not recognize the marriage, right?

 91. Could a Protestant minister come to a Catholic wedding and offer communion to those who are not Catholics?

 92. Can’t a priest just invite everyone to communion? I know it’s been done before.

 93. May people throw rice after the ceremony?

 94. How much money are we supposed to give the priest and the church for a wedding?

 95. Does the bride have to change her name after a Catholic wedding?

 96. Am I excommunicated if I get married outside the Catholic Church?

 97. If I’m married outside the Catholic Church, may I still go to communion?

 98. I love my partner and we just want to have a beautiful ceremony. It feels like the church doesn’t care about us. If I get married somewhere else, does the church consider it a sin?

 99. If I get married outside the Catholic Church, may I still have my children baptized Catholic and may they attend Catholic schools?

 100. If I get married outside the church, how soon could I have the church recognize my marriage?

 101. So tell me, why should I have a Catholic wedding?

 Bibliography
Index